There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
