Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
