its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize