He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
