I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
