oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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