You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
