yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
