at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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