woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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