when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
