just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
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