i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
