my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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