My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
