he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
