i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
