a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
