i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it was like eating out sand paper
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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