what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
