What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
