Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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