I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
