Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
