Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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