So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
