At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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