Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
