I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
