i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
