...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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