you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Randomize
