Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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