Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
