the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
