I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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