i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
So apparently I’m into choking now
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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