sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
