Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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