question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
