They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Operation Purity has been aborted
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize