A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
