Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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