Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
