Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
