Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
