How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
