the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he puts the penis in happiness.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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