every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
