I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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