he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
