im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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