For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
