it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
