so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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