just come out here and I will go home with you...
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
