I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
